In Service Triangle

The Deal

It may make sense to (formally or informally) make a deal with the person you’re having an impactful conversation with to set the scene and make the intention clear for both of you.

Your job is to be open, listen, be in service and look for your own insight. To point them to their own design for success and insights and if necessary disrupt their thinking. It is not to solve their problems for them or give advice!

Their job is simply show up, be open & curious and look where you are pointing. To be reflective and look for insights and realisations.

Grounding

This section is a nudge for you to be aware of your grounding when sharing this understanding. The most powerful thing you can do is be a transformational presence with the solid ground you have realised through your understanding of how the minds works.

  • Look to your own grounding, what do you see in this moment is universally true for everyone?

    If you’re not awake and conscious, it’s really hard to help other people.

    Being aware of your own grounding will give you the space to deepen it leaving you better capable of sharing this understanding with others.

  • Show up and be present. Be aware of how the human mind really works.

  • We all have a living intelligence that allows us to have insight, learn, be resilient in any moment.

    Remind yourself of this in the moment. Are you pointing them to it?

  • We know the power of your grounding first and foremost shows up in your presence. Being centred in your understanding of the principles allows you to be a transformational presence that others will tune to before you even speak.

  • Take the pressure off! Remember that your job is not to have or give an insight to someone else. You are simply pointing them in a direction they may not have considered before and creating a space for them to have realisations for themselves.

    E.g. you are a tour guide showing someone else around your favourite city. You aren’t imparting your wisdom but rather directing them to notice what you’ve found useful/helpful.

  • How are you listening? Where is your ego in the conversation?

    Be aware of how much of your own personal narrative is involved as you’re listening. Noticing any interference will increase the potential for you to have an insight in service of the other person.

In Service

This section covers some headlines on how to be in service.

  • Look for insight on what it is the other person wants to get out of their time with you (they may not know!). This will likely be at the level of the content and helps you get intake into what they’re up against.

  • It is in service of your client to bear in mind what is really on offer.

    One way of thinking of this is; what would the thing they want to change really bring to them?

    E.g. fixing a relationship at work would bring them joy, productivity and more time.

  • We know the power of transformation lies in the Mechanics. Understanding the Three Principles leads to realisation and transformation. It is in service to understand the relevance of their content and programming but be grounded in how it really works, whether you share that with them explicitly or not.

  • When somebody’s mind is very noisy it is difficult for them to ‘hear’ they’re own insights. If you notice the other person has a really noisy mind, it might be more helpful to start there rather than leaping in to the content.

    You might have to ask someone what is going on for them.

Understanding (diagnostic)

Once you have a picture of what is in service your job is to look for insight for yourself on what they may not realise about how their mind works which would change, remove or create what they are looking for in their lives.

  • It helps to know how the other person sees the world, how reflective they are and if they are interested in exploring how the mind works (or if they just want to fix their problem). Your understanding of this will help you shape the conversation with them.

  • People get stuck when they have a misunderstanding about how their mind works. Look for insight for yourself on what they may not have realised about their mind.

    E.g. they don’t realise we all have separate realities.

  • In our experience most people get stuck in one of these three misunderstandings:

    • The world works outside-in

    • It is normal to feel less than completely at peace

    • Our intellect is smarter than the intelligence of life

    Talk to us if you’d like to explore this further.

Creating the Conditions

Once you’ve understood what the other person hasn’t seen about how the mind works there are a variety of things you can do to create the conditions for them to have a realisation.

  • Respond in the moment to what comes up.

    As a suggestion, this can often look like

    • Pointing them back to their default, settled state

    • Teaching, questioning and listening

    • Postponing the conversation if needed

    • Going with the flow.

    The ability to do this develops with your art and skill

  • Continuously respond to the other person in the moment. What may be in service of them one time may not the next. Be explicit and look for insight for what may be in service of them moment to moment.

  • Knowing the power of insight and being familiar with letting your wisdom nudge you along will create the conditions for both you and them to look for insight allowing them to see for themselves the intelligence of their own system and their innate ability to seeing something fresh.

  • We want to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. Part of creating the conditions for someone to have an insight is disrupting their thinking and showing them their own potential to see something differently/get out of their own way.

  • The rapport and connection you build with others is part of you creating the conditions for them to have insights.

  • Point out when the other person has a realisation.

    Have they realised something or understood it intellectually? Nudge them to see the power of realisation in service of them seeing more for themselves. People often bank their realisations and actually taking some time to look at the implications fo a realisation can really help land it for people.